Today, this must be a quick post. If I turn my head for too long, all heck is bound to break loose. I have exactly 3.5 minutes to type this before the twiblings finish their bottles....then, its every man for himself. Something must be in the water today-2 toddlers and 2 great escapes.
I begin with Tink. Remember the fenced in play yard that was covered in poopy on my last post? Well, Tink has learned to climb it and escape today. I had gone upstairs to change Hunk's diaper while Tink was happily and quietly playing. Upon my return, I find her on the arm of the sofa. I rush quickly to scoop her up so she doesn't fall to the floor. What's next? Her baby bed in the middle of the night? And so, a new chapter begins for Tink.....
So, after the first escape, both babies were put down for a nap. It was a great one! They both slept for about two hours. All of a sudden, I hear Hunk crying and he's really upset. So, I go in to get him up, and when I open the door, I find that he is COMPLETELY NAKED!!! Now, let me set the stage for this clothing escape. The child had on a full body, zip-up footed sleeper, and to boot, there is a little flap that snaps over the zipper. So, this 11 MONTH OLD child has now learned how to unsnap, unzip, undress and undo the velcro on his diaper. Luckily there was no peepee or poopy this time, but WHAT AM I GOING TO DO???? I definitely have my work cut out for me.
Oops.....better go! Now they are squeezing the nipples on their bottles so the milk will spray all over the room!! I tell ya....they're trying to break me down!!! It only gets easier from here.....right? ;-)
Friday, April 13, 2012
Thursday, April 5, 2012
The Mommy Meltdown and A Poopy Extravaganza
So, Spring Break was ANYTHING BUT a break! Don't get me wrong, we had a great time. My whole family went to the beach to celebrate my moms birthday, which was a lot of fun. We also went to the zoo and a local recreation facility. However, when it was over, I was in a state of pure exhaustion. You know, ladies, the point of exhaustion where you just burst into tears. Yes, that was me. Case in point...
It was the last Sunday before the kids were to go back to school. Ballerina girl has an upcoming birthday, and my mom wanted to take her clothes shopping. So, we decided that I would meet her halfway between our two houses. Just to get the babies out, I decided I would load them in the van to go along for the ride. The drop off went well, and I was headed home in my exhausted, "zombie-fied" state. I was driving along, listening to music, and I look up, only to see flashing blue lights in my rear view mirror. Crap!!!! Not that it makes it right, but I got pulled over on a local road where the speed limit drops 20mph in a span of half a mile. I obviously didn't slow down enough.
As the officer approaches my car, I begin feeling really sorry for myself. Poor me!! I just want to go home and rest! "Ma'am, are you alone in the car," he asked. I respond, "No sir, I have two babies in the back." He continues up to my window. At this point, I was ok, until the officer began speaking to me in a belittling tone. My exhaustion begins to take over, and I start shaking and crying a bit. Not only is he pulling me over for going too fast, but when he ran my tag, it came back as expired! Well, I knew that this wasn't right, and I lean over to get my registration after he asks to see it. I was shaking so badly, that I think the officer began to feel sorry for me. So, he began some small talk, "How old are the babies?" he asked. And I burst into "The Ugly Cry"..."They're 13 months and 11 months. I'm their foster mom." I had totally lost it, to the point where I don't even think the poor officer could understand what I was saying. I couldn't even see what was in my stack of papers and just handed them out of the window for him to go through. "Ma'am, just calm down. You are ok!" he said in a way to try and comfort me. However, at this point, there was no stopping the waterworks, snot and all! I'm surprised that he he didn't arrest me at that point for being criminally insane! Once he saw my registration, it was evident that we had renewed our tag. It had been a glitch in the state computer system. He then proceeded to tell me in a very kind and gentle voice to just slow down and he would let me go. I tried to tell him thank you, but I don't think he understood what I was trying to say. So, I drove off, very slowly, and cried for about the next hour. Lord have mercy, I was a frickin lunatic that day!
Fast forward two days to Tuesday. It was the girls' first day back to school. My schedule on Tuesdays is to pick the girls up from school, drop Ballerina girl off at dance class (O picks her up 2 hours later), then home to feed and bathe the rest of the crew. All had gone as smoothly as possible. I had fed Goosey and the twiblings and all three had been bathed. I had decided to just put the babies in their diapers and let them play in the play yard area while I ate my supper. BIG MISTAKE!
I had eaten about half of my supper when Goosey yells out, "Mommy, Tink has taken off her diaper, and they are playing in the poopy!" So, I throw down my fork and run across the room. Much to my dismay, I see both Tink and Hunk covered in poop from head to toe. Poop is smeared all over the floor and all on the play yard fence. I look over at Goosey and ask "How am I going to do this?" She responds with a gag and a dry heave! GREAT!
So, I instruct Goosey to just hold onto Hunk's arm so he can't continue to smear the poop all over the toys. "Just hold him right there until I get back!" I pick up Tink and run her up to the bathtub. I spray her down to wash all the poop down the drain, and then proceed to bathe her....again! Fast and furiously, I wash her hair, hands, under her nails, the bottoms of her feet....every inch! I dry her off, diaper her, place her in the walker, and run over to pick up Hunk. By this time, Goosey has poop on her too, so I tell her to hit the showers. I continue the same bathing process with Hunk, and once he is clean, I place him in his walker. Now, onto clean the play yard. What a disaster!!!!
As you can see from the picture above, there are lots of little nooks and crannies on this fence. There was poop in almost every one on one side of the play yard. After about 30 minutes of cleaning, and babies crying from the whole poo poo trauma, Goosey proceeds to inform me that Tink is stinking really bad! SURELY NOT! So I go over to check her diaper, and when I do, it is empty. So, I smell her hair, her hands, her feet, nothing stunk and then I smell her......wait for it......her breath!!! IT WAS HER BREATH!!!!AAAAAACCCCCKKKKKKK! So I pick her up, run upstairs, and proceed to smear her baby toothpaste all over my finger. (I couldn't put her toothbrush in her mouth!). I thoroughly clean her teeth, gums and tongue, and finally the poop smell is gone! Needless to say, the babies will never, EVER go without some form of clothing over their diapers again!
It was the last Sunday before the kids were to go back to school. Ballerina girl has an upcoming birthday, and my mom wanted to take her clothes shopping. So, we decided that I would meet her halfway between our two houses. Just to get the babies out, I decided I would load them in the van to go along for the ride. The drop off went well, and I was headed home in my exhausted, "zombie-fied" state. I was driving along, listening to music, and I look up, only to see flashing blue lights in my rear view mirror. Crap!!!! Not that it makes it right, but I got pulled over on a local road where the speed limit drops 20mph in a span of half a mile. I obviously didn't slow down enough.
As the officer approaches my car, I begin feeling really sorry for myself. Poor me!! I just want to go home and rest! "Ma'am, are you alone in the car," he asked. I respond, "No sir, I have two babies in the back." He continues up to my window. At this point, I was ok, until the officer began speaking to me in a belittling tone. My exhaustion begins to take over, and I start shaking and crying a bit. Not only is he pulling me over for going too fast, but when he ran my tag, it came back as expired! Well, I knew that this wasn't right, and I lean over to get my registration after he asks to see it. I was shaking so badly, that I think the officer began to feel sorry for me. So, he began some small talk, "How old are the babies?" he asked. And I burst into "The Ugly Cry"..."They're 13 months and 11 months. I'm their foster mom." I had totally lost it, to the point where I don't even think the poor officer could understand what I was saying. I couldn't even see what was in my stack of papers and just handed them out of the window for him to go through. "Ma'am, just calm down. You are ok!" he said in a way to try and comfort me. However, at this point, there was no stopping the waterworks, snot and all! I'm surprised that he he didn't arrest me at that point for being criminally insane! Once he saw my registration, it was evident that we had renewed our tag. It had been a glitch in the state computer system. He then proceeded to tell me in a very kind and gentle voice to just slow down and he would let me go. I tried to tell him thank you, but I don't think he understood what I was trying to say. So, I drove off, very slowly, and cried for about the next hour. Lord have mercy, I was a frickin lunatic that day!
Fast forward two days to Tuesday. It was the girls' first day back to school. My schedule on Tuesdays is to pick the girls up from school, drop Ballerina girl off at dance class (O picks her up 2 hours later), then home to feed and bathe the rest of the crew. All had gone as smoothly as possible. I had fed Goosey and the twiblings and all three had been bathed. I had decided to just put the babies in their diapers and let them play in the play yard area while I ate my supper. BIG MISTAKE!
I had eaten about half of my supper when Goosey yells out, "Mommy, Tink has taken off her diaper, and they are playing in the poopy!" So, I throw down my fork and run across the room. Much to my dismay, I see both Tink and Hunk covered in poop from head to toe. Poop is smeared all over the floor and all on the play yard fence. I look over at Goosey and ask "How am I going to do this?" She responds with a gag and a dry heave! GREAT!
So, I instruct Goosey to just hold onto Hunk's arm so he can't continue to smear the poop all over the toys. "Just hold him right there until I get back!" I pick up Tink and run her up to the bathtub. I spray her down to wash all the poop down the drain, and then proceed to bathe her....again! Fast and furiously, I wash her hair, hands, under her nails, the bottoms of her feet....every inch! I dry her off, diaper her, place her in the walker, and run over to pick up Hunk. By this time, Goosey has poop on her too, so I tell her to hit the showers. I continue the same bathing process with Hunk, and once he is clean, I place him in his walker. Now, onto clean the play yard. What a disaster!!!!
As you can see from the picture above, there are lots of little nooks and crannies on this fence. There was poop in almost every one on one side of the play yard. After about 30 minutes of cleaning, and babies crying from the whole poo poo trauma, Goosey proceeds to inform me that Tink is stinking really bad! SURELY NOT! So I go over to check her diaper, and when I do, it is empty. So, I smell her hair, her hands, her feet, nothing stunk and then I smell her......wait for it......her breath!!! IT WAS HER BREATH!!!!AAAAAACCCCCKKKKKKK! So I pick her up, run upstairs, and proceed to smear her baby toothpaste all over my finger. (I couldn't put her toothbrush in her mouth!). I thoroughly clean her teeth, gums and tongue, and finally the poop smell is gone! Needless to say, the babies will never, EVER go without some form of clothing over their diapers again!
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