Well, I didn't fall off of the face of the earth, but the blog definitely got pushed to the side. I've been a little preoccupied since my last post, but I figured that it is time to catch up. So.....hear goes.......
Not long after my last post, we were 7 weeks into our 10 week foster parenting course, and the phone rings. Hmmmmm....it's DHR calling. Wonder what they may need? " Hello, I'm calling from DHR. We have a 5 month old baby girl who needs to be placed. Will you consider taking her? If so, I will call you back in an hour and we can make arrangements to bring her to your home." WOW! We were totally shocked! We knew that we would be getting children once we finished our course, but had NO IDEA that we could recieve a placement so quickly. However, we were totally thrilled and couldn't wait to meet her.
We told the social worker that we would be happy to come there to pick up the baby. So a couple of hours later, we met her. So tiny, so beautiful, so timid and hesitant as she looked at all of the strange people around her. As the social worker held her, I touched the baby's hand with my finger, and she held on. I sat there and talked to her for a minute, being very careful not to take her too quickly, knowing that her recent transition had to have been traumatizing. Finally, I reached for her and she came right to me, keeping her little Glow-worm doll close. Very inquisitively staring at me and looking around at O and the girls. It was time to take her home, and as soon as we placed her in the car, her tears started flowing. As we drove, we all sang songs to her, and it seemed to soothe and comfort her. By the time we pulled in the driveway, she was sound asleep.
The first couple of weeks were a big adjustment for all of us. With our youngest, "Goosey" being 7, it had been a while since there was a baby in the house. However, we finally got into the groove, and our oldest, "Ballerina Girl" and Goosey were a huge help to mommy and daddy! My favorite moment was when I was changing a very messy diaper that had leaked all over the place. The girls were standing and watching. They asked, "Mommy, did you do all of this to take care of us when we were little?" I said,"I sure did!" At that moment, they both thanked me for all that I had done to take care of them when they were babies. Talk about a very rewarding moment!!!
As time went on, the baby became more and more a part of our family. "Tink" became her nickname, mainly because she was so tiny! She began experiencing so many of her "firsts". First tooth, first time to crawl, pull up, cruise around the cocktail ottoman. What an honor to be able to see this baby grow and thrive! She knows she is loved and feels safe.
In October, we received another call from DHR. This time for a 2 week old baby girl. Of course, we couldn't say no! What an eventful time that was... to say the least!!!! We got her on a Thursday night....the night before I was supposed to chaperone a 5th grade field trip to McWane Center. However, I couldn't back out....I couldn't let my sweet Ballerina Girl down. That night, the baby didn't sleep AT ALL! So, neither did mommy and daddy. An emergency call was put in to my dad, aka Pooh. He came to help me on the field trip, and thank God he did. Tink was in the stroller, 2 week old in a baby backpack on my chest, and four 5th grade girls to keep track of in the pit of hell called McWane! I was never so glad for a day to be over! Little 2 week old baby was picked up by a social worker that evening. They had found a family member to take her. So, I kissed her, and prayed that God would protect her and her little life. While it was a relief, it was also sad, because I knew I would probably never see her again. I can only hope that the love we gave her will make a small difference in her life.
Since October, we have only had Tink. She hears the girls call us Mama and Daddy, so she now refers to us as Mama and Dada. She also says Nana for Ballerina Girl and still hasn't mastered a name for Goosey yet. She had her first Christmas with us and really loved all of the paper and boxes (forget the presents...haha). She also took her first steps on January 16th. Also, since October, we have become very close with Tink's grandparents. Such sweet people who care very deeply for their family. We consider it an honor to walk beside them in this journey, all the while making sure that Tink knows and loves her biological family.
We don't know what the outcome will be or how long Tink will be with us, but no matter the outcome, the journey has changed our lives. I have people tell me all the time, "I've thought of becoming a foster parent, but I would get too attached. I could never give them back." Well, my question is....Do you think it will be easy for us to give a child back? No....no, it will not. It will be heart-wrenching. Devastating. However, we choose to look at the positives. Look at the joy that she brings to us every day. Look at what a difference it will make in her life to have a stable home and people who love and care for her with all their hearts. People who tell her she is loved, not only by our family but loved by God. We have to look at the greater good and not be focused on what we will lose. Also, look at what this is teaching our children. Love and love selflessly. Help others. Make wise choices and look at the consequences of those who make bad choices. This has CHANGED. OUR. LIVES.
I find myself overflowing with love, more than I ever have. I love my husband more than I ever have. I love my children more than I ever have. I love my family, my friends, more than I ever have. Isn't that what its all about anyway? LOVE.
11 years ago, O and I were dealing with infertility issues, and during this time, it was prophesied over us that we would be a father and a mother to many, many children. Very odd, considering what we were dealing with at the time. Now, I see it! We have many hopes and dreams. Sure, one of these days we would love to travel, see the world. But, our biggest dream is to sit on our porch one day when we are old and gray, and see our 11 acres filled with children and grandchildren whose lives we have touched. They will not have been born to us biologically, but they will have been birthed in our hearts. I hope and pray that this dream comes to pass.
For now, we will take each day as it comes. We will make many, many mistakes. We do that EVERY day. We have so many flaws, I can't even begin to count. I know that we will face heartbreak at times. I just pray that we are strong enough to overcome. With God, I know we will.
As I conclude, I want to issue a challenge. Foster parenting is definitely not for everyone, but everyone has a way in which they are gifted. I have found that when I have days when I only focus on myself, life is miserable. I challenge everyone who reads this to find a way to reach out and selflessly do something for someone else outside of your family. No matter how great or how small. It may not be easy, but it will be worth it! It could even be life changing!!!
